The choice of a mate.

  • Anthony Ludovici
Date:
[1935]
Catalogue details
    437/546 (page 407)
    PASSIONLESS MALES people may usually be classed as lacking in passion ; for, if their sensibilities were ardent, considerations of self-esteem could not receive attention. This accounts for the majority of so-called “ Don Juans Their hunger for repeated successes with women is too often the outcome of an aching sense of inferiority (which makes them wish constantly to be reassured about their personal merit) for it to be too lightly inferred from their many affairs that they are moved by passion. 1 Nor is it merely a question of happiness. Health is also con cerned, and Dr. M. Porosz has found that a husband’s weak passion and sexual neurasthenia brings many young women with apparent ovarian trouble into the consulting room, although they turn out to be quite normal and their disorder—oophoralgia erotica—is entirely due to the sexual subparity of their mates. 2 The frequency of this condition in otherwise perfectly charm ing young men, is one of the tragic features of modern life, at least in the middle classes of countries populated by Anglo-Saxon stocks ; that is why grown girls should keep a sharp look-out for the external signs of coldness or inferior sensuality in their prospective mates, and, no matter how resolutely they have to resist them, prefer the young men who press for sexual inter course, or at least for early marriage, and who apply all their energies to making themselves fit for the latter, before those who act as though next year, or Doomsday, would be soon enough. Also do not let them be deceived by the man who constantly emphasizes his desire to have children. This is neither normal nor necessarily indicative of sexual ardour. Let them remember that his natural preoccupation is to desire the girl he loves. Children, no matter how welcome they may be, are merely a by-product of this mutual desire of a young couple for each other. When a man appears very anxious to have children, as such, two things may be suspected :— 3 (a) Deep-rooted inferiority feelings, which he is hoping to smother by the triumph of exhibiting the results of his potency to the world. 1 Stendhal saw this. He says : “ Le bonheur de don Juan n’est que de la vanité And he adds : “ Les horreurs viennent toujours d’une petite âme qui a besoin de se rassurer sur son propre mérite ” (D.A., pp. 223-225). B.M.J., 25.12.26. We must also remember that sexual abnormality in the male is now an important factor in childlessness. Dr. Sidney Forsdike says : 25 per cent of childless marriages are due to the condition of the husband ” (B.M.J., 13.10.28), and is confirmed by Drs. Mazer and Hoffmann (B.M.J., 9.3.29). 3 Unless he is nearing decrepitude and owns important properties or titles, which he wishes to hand on to an heir of his blood.