The choice of a mate.

  • Anthony Ludovici
Date:
[1935]
Catalogue details
    64/546 page 34
    her child, it is not so overwhelmingly important if it is this man or that man.” 1 Provided he is competent sexually, the man in possession, no matter what he is like otherwise, enjoys a wonderful advantage with a young inexperienced woman. Many authorities take the view that the unspoilt girl’s impulse to the male, unlike his to her, is not a conscious desire for sexual gratification. Count Keyserling says, “ Only in exceptional cases does a woman’s passionate nature awaken itself.” 1 2 Havelock Ellis says : “ The sexual impulse of woman shows great external passivity. It is more complicated, less readily arises spontaneously, more frequently needs external stimuli.” 3 Rémy de Gourmont declares that “ La femelle dort jusqu'au moment où le mâle la réveille ”; 4 while Dr. Fritz Lenz says : “ Fortunately the innocent and immaculate maiden does not as a rule suffer from [sexual] abstinence . . . the majority of sexually untouched girls do not experience any direct sexual longing.” 5 According to Dr. L. Lôwenfeld, “ the lack of sexual impulse persists in girls for an indeterminate time even after puberty, as long as they remain free from all experience of sexual stimulation.” 6 And Dr. Herbert says : “ Women being more passive in their sex lives, bear sexual abstinence on the whole much more easily, especially if the sex passion has not been roused in them by actual experience.” 7 The girl’s desire for the male is, therefore, different from his for her. His is a conscious hunger for sexual relief, and in cases of long abstinence, it blots out all considerations of taste and caution. Hers is less conscious, and not necessarily aware of the nature of the relief sought. Thus it is more easily educated prior to sexual experience, more amenable to wise criteria of choice, 8 1 A Survey of the Woman Problem, by Rose Mayreder (London, 1913, p. 160). P.F.M., p. 75 : “ Sexual passion in a man tends to be an end in itself, while in a normal woman it is really only a means to an end.” 2 B.M., p. 39. 3 S.P.S., III, p. 255. 4 P.L., p. 10. 5 M.A.R., pp. 458-483. 6 S.L.W., p. 174. 7 An Introduction to the Physiology and Psychology of Sex (London, 1917, p. 117), also p. 126 : “ With women the problem of abstinence is, on the whole, less urgent, as their sex passion, if not prematurely aroused, awakens much later, and is even then generally not quite so volcanic.” 8 Hence some authorities think women have a more objective judgment of men than vice-versâ. Prof. Holle, for instance, says : “ Woman thinks more biologically [in mating] for the simple reason that she is closer to nature ” (W.S.H., p. 90).
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