Volume 1

The British drama; comprehending the best plays in the English language.

Date:
1804
Catalogue details

Licence: Public Domain Mark

Credit: The British drama; comprehending the best plays in the English language. Source: Wellcome Collection.

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    Lord Min. Don’t you think a taper leg, fal- ling shoulders, and fine hair, delightful objects, sir John ? Sir John. And, therefore, ought to be conceal- ed ; ’tis their interest to conceal them. When you take from the men the pleasure of imagina- tion, there will be a scarcity of husbands; and then taper legs, falling shoulders, and fine hair, may be had for nothing. Lord Min. Well said, sir John ! ha, ha, ha ! your niece shall wear a horseman’s coat and jack-boots to please you—ha, ha, ha! Sir John. You may sneer, my lord; but, for all that, I think my niece in a bad way; she must leave me and the country, forsooth, to see good company and fashions; I have seen them too, and wish from my heart, that she is not much worse for her journey—you’ll excuse me ! T^ord Min. But why in a passion, sir John ?— [My lord nods and laughs at Miss Tittup, who peeps from behind.^ Don’t you think, that my la- dy and I shall be able and willing to put her into the road? Sir John. Zounds, my lord, you are out of it yourself! This comes of your travelling; all the town know how you and my lady live togetlier; and I must tell you—you’ll excuse me ! that my niece suffers by tlie bargain. Prudence, my lord, is a very fine thing. Lord Min. So is a long neckcloth nicely!twist- ed into a button-hole; but I don’t chuse to wear one—you’ll excuse me ! Sir John. I wish that he, who first changed long neckcloths for such things as you wear, had the wearing of a twisted neckcloth, that 1 would give him. Lord Min. Prithee, baronet, don’t be so so horridly out of the way ! Prudence is a very vul- gar virtue, and so incompatible with our present ease and refinement, that a prudent man of fash- ion is now as great a miracle as a pale woman of f|uality; we got rid of our mauvais honte, at the time we imported our neighbours’ rouge, and their morals. Sir John. Did you ever hear the like ? I am not surprised, my lord, that you think so lightly, and talk so vainly, who are so polite a fiusband ; your lady, my cousin, is a fine woman, and brought you a fine fortune, and deserves bet- ter usage. Lord Min. Will you have her, sir John ? she is very much at your service. Sir John, Profligate! What did you marry her for, my lord ? Lord Mhi. Convenience Marriage is not, iiow-a-days, an affair of inclination, but conve- nience ; and they, who marry for love, and such old-fashioned stuff, are to me as ridiculous as those, who advertise for an agreeable companion in a post-chaise. Sir John. I have done, my lord! Miss Tittup shall either return with me into the country, or Voi. III. not a penny shall she have from sir John Trot- lev, baronet. [Whistles and walks about. Miss Tit. I am frightened out of my wits ! [Lord Minikin sings, and sits down. Sir John. Pray, my lord, what husband is this you have provided for her ? Lord Min. A friend of mine ; a man of wit and a fine gentleman. Sir John. May be so, and yet make a damned husband for all that—You’ll excuse me !—What estate has he, pray ? Lord Min. lie’s a colonel; his elder brother, sir Tan Tivy, will certainly break his neck; and then my friend will be a happy man. Sir John. Here’s morals ! a happy man, when his brother has broke his neck !—a happy man . —mercy on me ! Lord Min. Why, he’ll have six thousand a- year, sir John ! Sir John. I don’t care what he’ll have, nor don’t care what he is, nor who my niece marries; she is a fine lady, and let her have a fine gentle- man : I shan’t hinder her. I’ll away into the country to-morrow', and leave you to your fine do- ings ; i have no relish for them, not I; I can’t live among you, nor eat with you, nor game with you ; I hate cards and dice ; I will neither rob, nor be robbed; I am contented with what 1 have; and am very happy, niy lord, though my brother has not broke his neck—You’ll excuse me ! [jExiL Lord Min. Ila, ha, ha ! Come, fox; come out of your hole ! Ha, ha, ha ! Miss Tit. Indeed, my lord, you have undone .me; not a foot shall I have of Trotley manor— that’s positive !—But no matter; there’s no dan- ger of his breaking his neck; so. I’ll e’en make myself happy with what I have, and behave to him for the future, as if he was a poor relation. Lord Min. [Kneeling, snatching her hand, and kissing /?.] I must kneel, and adore you for your spirit, my sweet, heavenly Lucretia ! lie-enter .Sir John. Sir John. One thing I had fo^ot— [5?ar?s. Miss Tit. Ha ! he’s here again! Sir John. Why, what the devil!—heigho !— my niece Lucretia, and my virtuous lord, study- ing speeches for the good of the nation !—Yes, yes, you have been making fine speeches, indeed, my lord ! and your arguments have prevailed, I see ! I beg your pardon, T did not mean to inter- rupt your studies—you’ll excuse me, my lord ! Lord Min. [Smiling, and ?nocking him.^ You’ll excuse me, sir John ! Sir John. O yes, my lord; but I’m afraid the devil won’t excuse you at the proper time!—Miss Lucretia, how do you, child ? ^ ou are to be married soon—I wish the gentleman joy; IMiss Lucretia, he is a happy man, to be sure, and will want nothing but the breaking of his brother’s neck to be completely so !