The life of Sophia Jex-Blake / by Margaret Todd (Graham Travers).

  • Margaret Todd
Date:
1918
Catalogue details

Licence: In copyright

Credit: The life of Sophia Jex-Blake / by Margaret Todd (Graham Travers). Source: Wellcome Collection.

    60/616 page 32
    He never offended in word or deed. If sometimes unjustly spoken to, how often have I escaped my desert and how few are the faults the strictest find compared with an all-seeing God. Oh, for the charity that beareth all things. . . . 27th Monday. I must expect trials this day, humiliating to my pride and trying to my temper. . . . Nothing special, though I gave way sadly at different times and again sinned in sending a letter to Mama [? Maria]. 28th. Again, more and more against light, got sweets. Miss X. in her prayer speaks at poor Agnes who is just come. She prays that all may be kind to her, remembering the Fatherless and Widow are His special care, etc. How could she harrow up poor Agnes’ feelings so ! The poor child was weeping under the infliction. . . . And in the prayer she announced her intention of expelling anyone who would make the others unhappy. O I could have knocked her down, and after prayers she really spoke kindly to me about be¬ ginning March afresh and any other time I could almost have promised to try. As it was I could not kiss her even. Oh how much I think of that which might and probably did proceed from a pure motive, and do not consider my unkindness often which I know does not do so. March 1. Whole holiday. Gave way to passion to A. and B. tho’ perhaps they were provoking I should better have striven to retain my temper. Alas from my feelings since it seems as if it were the letting in of water. O preserve me from being so awfully passionate as I was. Overbearing and ordering in the afternoon. Oh for the Charity which ‘ is kind ’ which ‘ is not puffed up ’ ‘ seeketh not her own ’ and above all which ‘ is not easily provoked She had no lack of self-control in other ways : why should she have failed so conspicuously in this ? When all due weight is given to the reasons already assigned one is still forced to the conclusion that there was something elemental in her nature over which she not only had little control, but of which she was to a great extent unconscious. As a mere child she expresses her thankfulness in a letter to her Mother that she is less “ irritable,” and at rare intervals all through life she would speak to intimate friends of the intolerable way in which the blood rushed to her head at times, making it all but impossible for her to weigh her words. But from first to last she was far less conscious of the moral aspect of the defect than one would have expected anyone of her sane judgment and essential humility to be. The severe self-
    digitised image 1
    digitised image 2
    digitised image 3