Prevention in family services : approaches to family wellness / edited by David R. Mace.
- Date:
- [1983], ©1983
Licence: Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International (CC BY-NC 4.0)
Credit: Prevention in family services : approaches to family wellness / edited by David R. Mace. Source: Wellcome Collection.
199/260 page 197
![Mace [197] lacking such a coping system, the chances of success would be equally poor. I recognize, of course, that for a marriage to be successful or satisfying would require that the expectations of the couple be in reasonable accordance with attainable reality. LEARNING TO USE CONFLICT CREATIVELY My remaining task is to indicate specifically how, in practical terms, John and Mary can take advantage of these new insights. In doing this, I will rely heavily on personal experience—my own and that of others who have shared their experiences with me. The first step is, of course, for the couple to make the necessary commitment to growth with each other. The best way for them to do this is to participate in a marriage enrichment experience—a retreat or growth group. The value of this has been demonstrated again and again. The chances that any couple will make this kind of commit¬ ment to each other privately with a really firm intention to carry it out seem to be quite poor. While the self-help principle is impressive in theory, it fails dismally in practice. On the other hand, a situation in which a group of couples make this commitment together seems to be much more effective. The intention becomes far stronger when it has been shared with others—particularly others who have registered a similar intention. However, we are not justified in assuming that participation in a marriage enrichment retreat will be sufficient for most couples. I am now convinced that what happens in such an event is only an attitudinal change, and that it is not likely to be sustained unless it is translated over time to change. Moreover, in this period of transition John and Mary will need the support of other couples just as much as they needed it at the earlier stage of attitudinal change. I would say that, to consolidate the growth process, continuing in a support group for at least a year would be highly desirable. Following the commitment, the process of change will require that John and Mary develop and maintain the ability to communicate openly and honestly with each other. We have learned a great deal about communication in families in the last decade, and training courses for communication are now available in most parts of the country. Since this subject has been covered in the preceding chapter, I need say no more. I would add, however, that I doubt whether full](https://iiif.wellcomecollection.org/image/b18037604_0200.JP2/full/800%2C/0/default.jpg)
