A mind that found itself : an autobiography / by Clifford Whittingham Beers.

  • Clifford Whittingham Beers
Date:
1917
Catalogue details

Licence: In copyright

Credit: A mind that found itself : an autobiography / by Clifford Whittingham Beers. Source: Wellcome Collection.

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    convulsion would become physical. My imagination seemed to tear my body into shreds. Had I had the courage to leave the room, I should have done so; but I sat as if para¬ lyzed until the class was dismissed. That term I did not again attend recitations. Continuing my studies at home I passed satisfactory examinations which enabled me to resume my place in the class-room the follow¬ ing January. During the remainder of my college years I seldom entered a recitation-room with any other feeling than that of dread, though the absolute assurance that I should not be called upon to recite did mitigate the misery. The professors, who had been told about my state of health and the cause of it, invariably treated me with consideration; but, though I believe they never doubted the genuineness of my excuse, it was no easy matter to keep them convinced for almost two of the three years of my course. My inability to recite was not due usually to any lack of preparation. However well prepared I might be, the moment a professor called upon me to recite, a mingling of a thousand disconcert¬ ing sensations, and the distinct thought that at last the dread attack was at hand, would suddenly intervene and deprive me of all but the power to say, “Not prepared.” Weeks would pass without any other record being placed opposite my name than a zero, or a blank indicating that I had not been called upon at all. Occasionally, however, a profes¬ sor, in justice to himself and to the other students, would compel me to recite, and at such times I managed to make enough of a recitation to hold my place in the class. WTien I entered Yale I had four definite ambitions: first, to secure an election to a certain secret society; second, to become one of the editors of the Yale Record, an illus¬ trated humorous bi-weekly; third (granting that 1 should have succeeded in this latter ambition), to convince my col-
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